I think I'm losing my mind!

Well, I got the name of the doctor in Denver that maybe could help me revise my implant and do another revision surgery so that my neurostimulation device might work for my headaches. So yesterday I spent about 6 hours looking for him on google and all over the internet. I called hospitals, clinics, friends who lived close to Denver and I even called his home I guess. Well I was very frustrated, sad, overwhelmed, discouraged and went and woke up John. We sat down at the internet and I showed him what I was doing and I swear it wasn't there before but the first thing that popped up on google was this doctor's institute. I immediately called and ask what I needed to do and they told me. I had a little hope. I'm trying to stay under control and not get my hopes up there to much because we just don't know yet. He has to review my file and see if he will even take my case. He is the best in the world at this procedure. He has been to, I believe about 15 or so different countries and lectured on this and other things. People fly from all over the U.S. to have them do their surgery. I hoping that they get contracted with my insurance soon and that I will be flying to Denver by the end of the year to have another surgery. WOW! I never thought that I would be so excited about having another very painful surgery but I guess you have to risk to get the reward and the reward would be worth all the risk if I could have the quality of life. I need to be healthy to raise these three amazing boys that I have been blessed with. I need to be able to be the wife that my adorable husband deserves. I need to be able to be me. The me that is inside just itching to get out. I want to be known as me and not as the sick me or my illness. So please pray for me that this process flys by and that the doctor will take my case. I'll keep you updated.